Obama right not to back down


After the 2011 debt limit fight, John Boehner crowed, “I got 98 percent of what I wanted. I’m pretty happy.”

What a difference a second term makes.

I wrote in 2011 that President Obama was wrong for giving into Republicans who threatened to let the country default on its debt unless they got an extension of the Bush tax cuts for the rich and other priorities that had nothing to do with improving the economy for the working class and the poor.

What sacred cow did Republicans sacrifice in the deal? Not a single one. They insisted from the beginning that millionaires and billionaires would not have to pay a single dime in new taxes and they got exactly what they wanted.

Yes, the president had to be the grown up and not let the country default on its bills. He could have done that by invoking the 14th amendment and unilaterally raising the debt limit. He’s been fighting with Congress since he took office. What’s one more round when he’s on the side of right? By giving in, he’s only put himself and the country in a weaker position for the next manufactured crisis the GOP creates.

Sadly, we know from the recent two-week government shutdown and debt limit fight that I was right.

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GOP: Lick your wounds and get over it!


Hurt people hurt people.

That’s the answer to the question many have been asking since Republicans shut down the U.S. government: Why?

Talk show hosts and pundits are stumped that the GOP would inflict the misery that millions have experienced the last two weeks during the government shutdown and risk the global economy by threatening not to raise the debt ceiling – for nothing.

The bill Congress passed Wednesday night funds the government longer than the Senate bill that House Republicans rejected two weeks ago. It lifts the debt ceiling, the other weapon Republicans wielded in their effort to force Democrats into delaying or defunding so-called “Obamacare.”

All they got in the deal is a requirement that individuals applying for federal subsidies for health insurance verify their income, a provision already in the Affordable Care Act.

Republicans knew that neither Senate Democrats nor President Obama would delay or defund the law. The drama we have witnessed wasn’t truly about getting rid of the abomination of Obamacare. It was about the hurt feelings of those in denial about 2008 and 2012.

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The Truth about Lies

sun-rays-coming-out-of-the-clouds-in-a-blue-sky-wallpaper.jpgThis evening I was chatting with an old friend when I asked about his love life. 

He told me that the woman he was dating had recently “fired” him. 

She wanted more of his time than he was willing to give. 
I told him that would be the story of his life until he told the truth. That he didn’t want a relationship. 

“I think I do,” he said. 

“It’s not about what you think or what you say,'” I told him. “It’s what you do.”

He says he wants to be in a relationship but he sees the woman he’s dating once or twice a month. “To a woman,” I told him, “that’s not a relationship.”

He says she wants to go to concerts and things of that nature but he’s about making money. He has no time for that stuff. 
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Our Barbaric Options for Breast Cancer


I applaud Angelina Jolie for her New York Times op-ed on the preventive double mastectomy she recently underwent.

Jolie has the mutated BRCA1 gene that exponentially increases the chance she will get breast cancer – 87 percent in her case.

The surgery reduces that chance to 5 percent.

Jolie went public with the decisions she made for her health in the hopes of encouraging other women to get genetically tested so they, too, can take control of their health.

The test costs $3,000, not exactly affordable for a lot of people.

Still, Jolie’s piece brings attention to a disease we usually only hear about during Breast Cancer Awareness Month in October.

The focus has primarily been on the concern that the publicity Jolie generates will encourage even more women to have double mastectomies, which often are not necessary, and the cost of the genetic test.

What bothers me is that mastectomy is considered a preventive treatment. With all the advances we’ve made in technology and medicine, we still treat cancer today the same way we did more than a generation ago.

We cut, we burn, we poison.
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Choosing our higher self

P1000180When our higher self begins to take over our thoughts and behavior, our lower self, or ego, becomes desperate for survival and acts accordingly.

When our higher self contemplates taking risks, stepping out on faith, for example, our lower self paralyzes us with fear. We are not ready. Don’t have enough money. Don’t measure up to those who already are doing what we want to do.

I deal with this daily as I struggle with figuring out what I want to do when I grow up and how I’m going to get there.

Am I qualified? Will people judge and criticize me? Can I do it? Will I be successful?

And then I remember that I can’t take what other people think and say about me personally. And I can and will be successful as long as I believe in myself.

In My Self as in my higher self. The spirit at the core of my being.

I really like it when my higher self is the operating system in control. I believe that’s the goal of the journey. Mastering the lessons that allow us to operate at a higher level each day.

Do you feel the tug between your higher, creative self and your lower self? In what way?

Share it here or on the blog. I’d love to hear from you.

Atlanta Housewives’ Sheree Whitfield needs emotional healing


If ever there was someone in denial, it’s former Real Housewives of Atlanta star Sheree Whitfield.

I just finished watching this week’s episode of Iyanla Fix My Life with Sheree and her ex-husband, former NFLer Bob Whitfield.

Sheree could not acknowledge her wounds no matter how big the picture Iyanla painted.

She couldn’t see past her ego to recognize the truth when Iyanla said that her unfinished mansion represented the incompleteness of her life.

Or the truth that she is angry and bitter.

Sheree admitted to a “little” anger and bitterness but only in the sense that she’s justified in having it.

I use Sheree as an example of an angry woman who hasn’t dealt with her issues in my book, Dancing to the Rhythm of My Soul: A Sister’s Guide to Transforming Madness into Gladness.

The signs are classic.

The bad-ass attitude, the public displays of rage, the materialism.

The lack of a relationship with her father, who never bought her the toy she most wanted.

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Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.~Melody Beattie

Recently, I went for a gratitude walk in a neighborhood park. I share my experience in the video above.

I make sure to spend time each day practicing gratitude. Even if it’s nothing more than saying, Thank You when I wake up in the morning,

I am grateful for every day I get to see.

One of my favorite gospel songs is Fred Hammond’s version of This is the Day.

They lyrics say This is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it.

I spent many years attending a Pentecostal church where I often heard the saying, “When the praises go up the blessings come down.”

Too often, though, I found the congregants spent more time seeking blessings than they did sending up praises.

One service that stands out took place on New Year’s Eve. It was our annual watch night service where we prayed in the New Year. ‘
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How bad things work together for good

I was reading a Palm Beach Post story about how Florida’s concealed weapons law allows people with very little gun training to carry hidden guns.

An NRA lobbyist is opposed to changes in the law that would mandate proficiency in gun use – like you must demonstrate to drive a car, another dangerous weapon – to get a license.

Mike Caruso owner of Delray Shooting Center and an NRA member who favors strengthening the law, suggested that nothing will be done until something shocks us into action.

“Bad things have to happen,” Mr. Caruso said, “before changes take place.”

The truth of that statememnt struck me.

It took the brutal murder of 20 babies to get President Obama to make gun control a priority.

If it weren’t for Newtown, Conn. we wouldn’t be having a debate on gun control.

Just like it takes bad things for changes to happen to raise the national consciousness, it often takes bad things to raise our individual consciousness. To wake us up.
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Would you rather be a girlfriend or wife? A husband or boyfriend?

Do girlfriends and boyfriends need to impress each other all the time as opposed to married
couples who don’t lack that pressure?

A gentleman with whom I chatted recently said girlfriends are more willing to go all out
Because they don’t have papers. Wives are less accommodating by default.

The same is true, he added, for boyfriends and husbands, respectively.

I suggested that his premise is true only if the girlfriend is auditioning for the wife role.
He said it applies regardless. That the risk of their significant other leaving makes single people in relationships go the extra mile.

That means a marriage license entitles people to take their significant others for granted. And that unmarried couples are inherently happier than married ones.

Perhaps that’s behind our 60 percent divorce rate?

What do you think? Is it better to be a wife or a girlfriend? Husband or a boyfriend?

Click below to take the poll.